In our daily lives, it is easy to judge people based on what we see on the outside. We look at how someone speaks, dresses, behaves, or performs publicly and quickly make assumptions. If someone is confident in presentations, we say,“He’s a good leader.” If someone is quiet, we might think,“He’s not prominent.” But life is not that simple.
“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.”
Surah Al-Hujurat (49:12)
Terengganu, May 2025 - In our daily lives, it is easy to judge people based on what we see on the outside. We look at how someone speaks, dresses, behaves, or performs publicly and quickly make assumptions. If someone is confident in presentations, we say,“He’s a good leader.” If someone is quiet, we might think,“He’s not prominent.” But life is not that simple.
There is a powerful reminder: “Never judge someone by the chapter you walked in on.” Everyone has their life journey. We may not know what they’ve gone through, what kind of challenges they’ve overcome, or what dreams they quietly hold in their hearts. That is why judging people based only on what we see can be unfair and sometimes even harmful.
Occasionally, our judgments about others are influenced not by direct experience but by what we hear from others. For example, a person may be highly skilled and competent in their work, yet we form negative opinions based on gossip, criticisms, or one-sided stories. Such assumptions can lead to unfair assessments and affect how we treat or respond to that individual. In academic and professional settings, it is important to recognize the impact of bias and secondhand information on our perceptions. Evaluating others based on personal observation, evidence, and fairness promotes a more inclusive and respectful environment.
People often hide their talents, not because they can't do it, but because they want to wait for the right time or prefer to grow quietly. In truth, human potential is far greater than what we often assume.
More Than What Meets the Eye
Let us take a moment to think about this: how many people do we know who seem “ordinary” but surprise us with extraordinary abilities? For example, someone who stays quiet during meetings might actually be doing excellent work behind the scenes. This case shows that we should not judge someone’s ability just by what we see on the outside. These stories are not rare. In fact, they are everywhere, we just don’t notice because we are often too focused on performance, status, or titles. But people are more than what they show on the surface.
Each of us possesses different experiences, interests, and strengths. Some people are outstanding in public, while others shine in quiet places. Some think deeply before speaking. Some act with quiet determination. The truth is, greatness is not always loud.
Growth and Self-Discovery
Abraham Maslow introduced the concept of self-actualization, the highest level in his famous hierarchy of needs. It is about realizing one’s full potential. But to reach that level, a person needs support, safety, love, and confidence. Without these, their talents may remain hidden or underdeveloped.
Not everyone grows in the same way. Some take longer to discover what they are excelling at. Some lose confidence because of early rejection. Some individuals never had the opportunity to learn. That’s why we must be gentle when judging others. We might see them at the beginning of their journey, not the end.
Another well-known theory is Multiple Intelligences by Howard Gardner. He said that being “smart” is not just about math or language. People can be intelligent in music, sports, nature, people skills, self-reflection, and more. This means someone who may not perform well in school might still be brilliant in emotional intelligence or problem-solving.
Such diversity reminds us that we should not limit people with our narrow definitions of success or ability.
The Danger of Labeling
Our society loves labels. We label people as “quiet,” “bossy,” “smart,” “ problematic”,“slow,” or “weak.” Sometimes these labels stick for years, even if they’re wrong. The moment someone hears these labels too often, they might start to believe them. Such descriptions can damage their self-esteem and hold them back from growing.
For instance, telling an employee they are “troubled” may discourage them from pursuing career advancement. Calling an employee “average” may lead them to cease producing new products. These labels become like invisible walls — they trap people.
Some researchers say we form first impressions in just a few seconds. But those impressions are often based on looks ,hearsay accents, body language, or confidence, not on the real person inside. We need to slow down and give people time to show who they truly are.
Sometimes, we misjudge people because they don’t match our expectations. But expectations are just that, our personal views. They are not universal truths. So when someone does not meet them, it says more about our mindset than about their worth.
Working in Silence
In today’s world, being visible is often linked to success. People with many followers on social media are praised. People who speak the most in meetings are seen as leaders. But not everyone wants that kind of spotlight.
Some people do their best work in silence. They help others without posting about it. They write, build, lead, and inspire, all behind the scenes. Their impact may not be loud, but it is deep.
There is value in quiet contribution. The world needs listeners, thinkers, and observers just as much as it needs speakers and performers. Sometimes, the quietest person tends to think, care, or plan the most.
Every Person Deserves Respect
Carl Rogers, teaches us about unconditional positive regard, this means respecting and accepting people for who they are, without judgment. It is about seeing the good in people, even when it’s not obvious.
When we look at others with kindness and openness, we create a safe space for them to grow. We should stop asking, “What can this person offer me?” and start asking, “How can I support this person in reaching their potential?”
In a world full of criticism and comparison, kindness is powerful. Encouraging someone may be the key to unlocking their hidden strength. Respecting someone may give them the courage to finally step forward.
So, what can we do to see people beyond what we first notice?
Pause before judging. Ask yourself , do I really know this person’s story?
Avoid labels. Words like “lazy” or “awkward” may say more about our assumptions than the person.
Be curious. Get to know people. Ask what they love, what they dream of, and what they struggle with.
Give chances. Let quiet people lead sometimes. Let “average” people try new roles.
Celebrate different strengths. We shouldn’t expect everyone to be the same. Diversity of talent is what makes a team or community strong.
By doing these things, we move from being judgmental to being supportive. We move from critic to ally. And in doing so, we create a better world for growth, not just for others, but also for ourselves.
See the Whole Person, Not Just One Chapter
We must remember: what we see in someone today is not the whole story. They may be growing. They may be healing. They may be preparing for something greater.
The rare person next to you might be an excellent leader. The quiet officer in your organisation may be a future innovator. The weak employee at work might one day lead a movement. You just haven’t seen that chapter yet.
So, let us stop measuring people by one moment, one skill, or one side. Let us see people for who they are, with kindness, patience, and hope. Everyone possesses a unique quality within them. And sometimes, all they need is someone to believe in them before the world does.
