As Malaysia moves towards an ageing society, more adults are caught between caring for children and elderly parents. This article discusses the financial, emotional, and psychological pressures of the sandwich generation and the need for supportive policies, workplaces, and family structures.
Aminah is 38 years old.
She wakes up at 5:30 am every morning, not for herself, but for everyone else. She prepares breakfast for her two school-age children, checks on her 72-year-old mother, who has diabetes and hypertension, reminds her husband of her mother’s clinic appointment, and then rushes off to work as an executive at a logistics company in Kota Bharu.
By lunchtime, she is already navigating three WhatsApp groups: one for her children’s school updates, one for her siblings’ debate over their parents’ medical expenses, and one for her boss, who is requesting an urgent report by the end of the day.
By night, after her children are bathed and asleep and her mother’s medication is given, Aminah opens her laptop, not to rest, but to manage her small online tudung business on TikTok Shop. She sleeps past midnight, only to repeat the same cycle the next day.
Aminah is not alone. She represents a growing yet often invisible group in Malaysian society: the sandwich generation, working adults, typically aged 35 to 55, who are simultaneously responsible for raising their children while supporting ageing parents.
Caught between two dependent generations, they are stretched financially, emotionally, and physically at both ends, with little space left for rest, recovery, or self-care.
Who Are the Sandwich Generation?
The term sandwich generation was first introduced by social worker Dorothy Miller in 1981. Yet, its reality today is increasingly Malaysian in nature.
In a society where filial piety remains deeply embedded across Malay, Chinese, and Indian cultures, caring for elderly parents is not merely a personal choice but it is a social expectation and moral obligation.
At the same time, Malaysia is undergoing significant demographic shifts. According to the Department of Statistics Malaysia, the country is projected to become an ageing nation by 2040, with more than 15 per cent of the population aged 65 and above. Concurrently, delayed marriage and parenthood mean many adults are still raising young children well into their 40s, precisely when their parents begin to require greater care.
This convergence of responsibilities creates a structural “double burden” that is no longer exceptional but increasingly normal.
The Weight They Carry: Understanding the Burden
Financial Pressure in a High-Cost Era
The cost of living in Malaysia has steadily increased, particularly in the post-pandemic period. Rising food prices, household debt, healthcare expenses, and education costs have placed significant pressure on middle-income households. For the sandwich generation, these pressures are multiplied.
A typical urban household may spend RM1,500 to RM2,500 monthly on children’s education-related expenses, including tuition, uniforms, and activities. At the same time, an elderly parent with chronic illness may require RM800 to RM1,500 monthly for medication, check-ups, and mobility support.
For a household earning around RM6,000 per month, financial margins become extremely tight. Savings often take a backseat, and in many cases, retirement funds such as EPF are partially withdrawn to cover urgent medical or family needs.
In this context, financial planning is not about long-term security, but it is about immediate survival.
Emotional Exhaustion: The Invisible Burden
Beyond financial strain lies a quieter, more invisible burden, referred to as emotional exhaustion. Caregiver burnout is a recognised psychological condition marked by chronic fatigue, emotional detachment, reduced empathy, and feelings of helplessness. Among sandwich generation caregivers, it is widespread yet rarely acknowledged.
Cultural expectations of resilience, duty (berbakti), and self-sacrifice often discourage individuals from expressing emotional distress. As a result, many suffer silently. A son who cares daily for his stroke-affected father grieves privately for the parent he once knew, while feeling guilty for not affording professional care. A daughter managing her mother’s chemotherapy appointments while caring for her toddler quietly operates in a constant state of emotional depletion. This form of suffering is often invisible, yet deeply consequential.
Mental Health: The Silent Crisis
Mental health remains a sensitive topic in many Malaysian communities, but the sandwich generation is particularly vulnerable to stress, anxiety, and depression.
The National Health and Morbidity Survey (2025) reported that approximately one in five Malaysians showed signs of mental health issues. Among caregivers, the prevalence is likely higher due to prolonged stress exposure and limited recovery time.
However, barriers persist. Time constraints prevent many from seeking professional help, while stigma, especially in smaller communities, discourages open discussion. As a result, mental health challenges often remain unaddressed until they become critical.
Coping in the Digital Age: Entrepreneurship as Survival and Agency
In response to mounting pressures, many members of the sandwich generation have turned to entrepreneurship and the digital economy as coping mechanisms.
Malaysia’s gig and digital economy have expanded rapidly in recent years. Platforms such as Shopee, TikTok Shop, and Instagram have enabled individuals to generate income with minimal startup costs. For sandwich generation adults, entrepreneurship offers something traditional employment often cannot: flexibility.
A mother running a home-based food business can care for an elderly parent while earning income. A teacher conducting evening online tutoring can contribute financially without compromising daytime caregiving duties.
Beyond income, entrepreneurship also offers psychological value. It restores a sense of control and identity in a life dominated by responsibilities. It allows individuals to exist not only as caregivers, but as creators and contributors in their own right.
What Needs to Change: Building a Supportive Ecosystem
The challenges faced by the sandwich generation are not individual weaknesses, but systemic gaps that require collective solutions.
For Government and Policymakers
Malaysia must strengthen its eldercare infrastructure, including affordable day-care centres for seniors, home-based care services, and geriatric healthcare systems. Tax incentives for caregivers should be expanded, and EPF policies should consider more flexible caregiver-support withdrawals during family health crises.
For Employers
Workplace policies must evolve beyond rigid structures. Flexible working arrangements, caregiver leave, hybrid models, and employee assistance programmes should be standard practice rather than optional benefits. Supporting employees in caregiving roles improves long-term productivity and retention.
For Families
Caregiving responsibilities must be distributed more equitably among siblings. Open communication and structured planning can reduce the disproportionate burden often placed on one individual, typically a woman.
For Individuals
Perhaps the most important shift is internal: the permission to not be perfect. Seeking support is not a weakness but a necessity for sustainability. Community networks, counselling services, and digital support groups can provide essential emotional relief.
For those exploring entrepreneurship, starting small and leveraging digital platforms can create meaningful financial and emotional balance.
Conclusion: A Generation That Must Not Be Forgotten
Malaysia stands at a critical demographic crossroads.
The experiences of the sandwich generation reflect broader societal structures: how we value care, how we distribute responsibility, and how we define well-being.
Aminah’s story is not an isolated narrative. It is a reflection of thousands of Malaysians quietly holding families together while navigating economic and emotional strain.
The question is not whether the sandwich generation can endure, they already are.
The real question is whether society will continue to rely on silent sacrifice or finally build systems that allow them to live with dignity, balance, and rest.
Being caught in the middle should not mean being crushed there.
It should mean being supported from both sides.
